Friday, June 24, 2011

I have not given up

I've been quiet. Too quiet. When I get quiet on the blog it's reflective of what is going on with my journey. I've fallen, but I CAN get up.

So, what's been going on to cause the silence? A little bit of everything I suppose. I think I've grown bored of my food choices for one. I know that's when we all say mix it up. Change it up. I know, I know. But when you get in a funk it's difficult to dig deep inside to find the motivation to do anything other than the norm, even if the norm is driving you crazy and making you reach for things you know you really shouldn't reach for.

We have also been really pinching pennies. It's EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to eat healthy and change things up when there is a lot of financial stretching taking place. The really great news is my husband is back to work! Yes, after two years, ten months, two weeks and two days, he is back in the workforce and we will soon enjoy living off two incomes again.

Naturally this has resulted in a drastic change in our daily lives. Our youngest children are back in daycare. School is out for summer break so we had to scramble to find care for our middle son. But, all feels right in the world again and I don't dread our morning routines as I did nearly three years ago when it was so challenging to get everyone out the door on time. I would like to say I'll never take for granted the madness which we call mornings - but I'm sure in time it will become the chore it once was. LOL

The other good news is, I stepped on my home scale and I'm pretty much the same weight I was four weeks ago. Even if I'm up a couple pounds, I'm ok with that. The last four weeks I have not tracked, I haven't exercised, I haven't followed plan much, if any. I know you all have been here with me, hearing this same song and dance over and over again. I'm growing impatient with myself so I can only imagine what it feels like to be one of my readers right now.

I've made a promise to myself that I'm going to get it together again. I'm thankful that while I haven't had it together, I haven't done too much damage, yet. But I'm right at the edge of completely falling off and I refuse to let that happen.

So, Sunday I'll be in my meeting. I'm setting a mini-goal of not missing any meetings for six weeks. Six weeks I will be in a seat at a meeting, period. 

I want this more than anything and I need it more than anything. Thank you, all of you, for your patience as I seem to flounder. It's been a few months of this same old, same old and I know it's not a very interesting follow. But I'm quite sure it will be the times like this that I look back on when I hit my final goal and say, "look at that, I stumbled a lot along the way, but I finally made it! I didn't give up!"

Watch for my weigh in post on Sunday. No matter what the scale says, walking back through the doors at the meeting center will be a victory this week (and the next six weeks that follow).

Who has a story of motivation they would like to share? Have you made it to your ultimate goal? Did you have some months of sluggishness where you nearly fell off the wagon (or even did fall off and had to pick yourself back up)?  Please tell me about it. I'd love to hear your stories of success.


  1. Hey,

    You're right, don't give up!! It is all worth it in the end, trust me! I've surpassed my goal and reached my end weight. It feels great! Total lost is 224 pounds. When I needed motivation, I would break out the old pictures of myself and realize how much I changed. I would try on clothes that I couldn't wear before. As for diet, I did change it up a bit when things got old. Bottom line is you just need to reach inside and find what gets you going. Find what fires you up again and stick with it. The other side is waiting for can make it!!

  2. I've missed you this past month. It is not easy to do this day in and day out over and over and over again but I promise you it is SO much more worth the effort than any bite of food we could ever have. You are worth all the effort.

    My brother shares our struggles. My brother's legs were both amputated at the knees two nights ago.

    Do not EVER give up.


  3. Thank you Jane and Laura! You both are such inspirations.

    Sometimes the most difficult thing to do is come back to this blog time and time again and say, "yep, I screwed up again." I'm an overachiever and it seems like the first 50lbs came off pretty "easy" relatively speaking. It's great when it's melting away, everything is going well and the worst thing you see is a 4 oz gain on the scale the week of your monthly. . .ok so maybe that's a bit exaggerated to the favorable side. I know it was rougher than that for the first 50lbs. But looking back on it it seemed so much easier than what it is right now.

    I absolutely WILL NOT give up.

    Jane, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. :( I have no words, really.

  4. This post could have been written by me! Once again its the Friday night before weighin...a pizza is in the oven and I went conpletely crazy today. The last six weeks I have fallen off plan every Wed oe so. I dont know why I am sabotaging myself. Lost 80 in a year...only gained back 2 but so angry that I cant seem to get it back together!

  5. SOOO very glad to see you blogging again! I truly enjoy and find inspiration and comfort from your posts!

    I am very happy for all the good things happening for your family and that you are not giving up!

    The fact that you might be up a couple pounds, no biggie, but the fact that YOU are okay with it IS a biggie! Very healthy to give yourself credit for what you have accomplished!!

    Keep on bloggin' !!

  6. I am very motivated by your come back. I have come back my self time and time again losing the same 20 lbs. You and others have inspired my friend and I to create our on FB Page "Adventures of the Hip and Hungry" You are doing a great thing now doubt and your determination to not give up is encouraging to your followers too! I look forward to more post! ~JULIE~