Sunday, April 22, 2012

My Return to Weight Watchers

This is it! I was back in my meeting and I'm so glad that I "went home," as my Sunday morning peeps said. It felt good to sit in that seat again.

A little good news - I did see a loss on the scale when comparing my weight from April 12 to now, so I'll take it and see this as the start of something great, again!

This week I am committing to mixing up the hum drum foods. I will be making several new recipes which include:
  • Cucumber dill salad with sour cream dressing
  • Slow-cooker chili steak and black bean tacos
  • Zero point soup
  • Scallop and broccoli stir-fry
  • Seafood salad with lemon and orzo
  • Herbed salad with roasted corn and pita croutons
  • Rosemary chicken with balsamic-glazed onions
  • Smoky Pork BBQ
  • North African meatball stew with couscous
I am going to try to make it a goal to make at least four new recipes per week, to try to avoid getting bored. I may even post a few pictures of these dishes as I make them. Additionally, I am vowing to go for a walk every evening. That is my start. This is a new day, it's a new week and I know I can do this.

I am in planning mode and will be adding everything to my tracker. So here we go, friends! Next week, I know I'll have a loss on the scale to report and I really can't wait to start feeling the fruits of my labor. I want to feel good again!

What are you doing this week to mix it up, keep it fresh and stay on track?

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Let's Just Be Friends

Tonight, I had a discussion with my husband about my relationship with food. Truly, that is my issue, right? I have a really bad relationship with food.

I equated my current plan as "breaking up" with someone. You know, the first week you try to ignore their calls. You hold yourself back from texting them. As time goes on, the loss of them in your life fades and they turn into someone you used to know. (Yes, there is a great song out there about that right now, perhaps hitting repeat 20x in an hour has made this thought stick.) But I digress. Thursday, I broke up with carbs. I broke up with sugar. Oh hell, let's face it, I broke up with FOOD. Never mind, the fact that I do need some food to survive.

Let's just say it's extremely restrictive. I know I've heard all along that restrictive plans aren't the best. But, because it was provided to me by a doctor, and I was seeing an improvement in my blood sugar, I thought I had to give this a shot. I also know several people who have been amazingly successful seeing this doctor and following this plan - so that also helped convince me that it might be the right thing for me to do. 

However, I think a "let's just be friends" approach would be better for me? As it was when I had so much success on Weight Watchers. I'm not sure I'm ready to turn my back on tasting food. I'm not sure I can fight the very natural, very primal urges to EAT. Not overeat, not binge, but just eat. Humans need food. We like food. We get pleasure from food. Learning now to balance that pleasure and need is important. Trying to completely cut off the relationship with food, to the point of eating such an extremely low amount of calories and eating one food group - well, it just doesn't work for me.

Honestly, I have been a bit apprehensive about the new plan since the beginning, however, I've been talking myself into staying on track this week - and I have. I have not slipped a single time. However, I feel like I need to move forward with something that is more balanced. I've found myself increasingly weak, tired, dizzy and even confused in the evenings. I think the calorie count is too low for me. I think it's lacking a balance that my body needs.

Additionally, I've found something out about myself. I really, really dislike anything to do with protein shakes. I can't get passed the rotten smell/taste. I also have it in the back of my mind that I don't think it is truly healthy to make an over-processed powder part of a regular diet.

The good news. Damn, it works. Perhaps a little too quickly (based upon how I'm feeling). Since last Thursday I have lost 16 pounds. Yes folks, this is where I put the brakes on. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing that number drop so dramatically, and never in my life have I seen such a drastic change on the scale in such a short period of time, but averaging over a 2lb per day weight loss explains the weakness, dizziness and zombie like feeling I've had in the evenings. Not to mention the headaches.

Tomorrow, I'm making some adjustments. I'm increasing my calories and adding a bit more balance. I appreciate (and somewhat envy) those that could tough this plan out and make it work for them. But, just like I need to learn to listen to my body when it is full and I'm pushing forward to overeat - I feel like I also need to listen to my body with this. I want to feel better, not feel sick. So, I'll celebrate the loss of the week and push forward with the knowledge I have - moderation and balance work best for me.

At least the scale is moving again!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

My Own Medical Intervention

I'm not even sure how to start this entry, honestly. I considered not even firing the blog back up again - but I have really missed blogging. So, here I am, again.

The last few months have been rough, as far as weight loss (or gain, I should say). It's been this little nagging voice in the back of my mind saying, "stop it, don't eat that, you shouldn't do that. . ." yet I continued to pick up the fork.

I was at a crossroads. I needed help and I needed to gain control, again. I could either return to Weight Watchers and start tracking my points or I could do something different. The problem I've had, since being diagnosed with diabetes, is I still tend to fill my points with carb heavy foods. My diabetes medication had been increased and even then I was having high blood sugars - I am extremely carb sensitive, it seems (and insulin resistant). Consequently, I would be starving, eat more, have high blood sugars which then triggered high insulin levels, which then triggered the hunger feeling, so I would eat some more. . .the cycle continued. So, I wasn't really sure if Weight Watchers would be the best plan for ME to start using again, right now. I really needed to give up this dependence on carbohydrates. I'm not saying Weight Watchers won't be good for me again, but right now, I'm at a critical point. I needed the help of a medical professional.

So, I started to do some serious searching. I scheduled an appointment at the local hospital to get information about lap band - thinking perhaps I've finally hit the last straw and should consider surgery. But, I really didn't want surgery. The more I read about it, the more I hated the idea. Liquids for the first few weeks. Placing your food in a blender after you are finished with the clear liquid stage. Having the worry of being "stuck" as part of your lifestyle after you did finally get to eat solid food. I also had it in the back of my mind of successful co-workers who had visited a bariatric physician and dropped their weight successfully. I decided I would give that a shot, so I scheduled my appointment and cancelled the surgery consult at the hospital.

My appointment with the doctor was really fantastic. She provided a plan, that while strict, works with my diabetes. I'm in day three of the plan and am feeling fantastic. While my diet is extremely limited (as it should be with diabetes) I am extremely satisfied. The best news, I woke up this morning with a fasting blood sugar of 119 - and that was without taking my second dose of diabetes medication last night. She predicted at my appointment that within a month I should be able to go off the medication. When she said that, I wasn't convinced. However, to see that kind of result in just three days - I think she may just be right!

I am fighting back, again. While I did gain 25lbs before I found help - I am proud that I didn't gain back the entire 55lbs I had lost on Weight Watchers. That, alone, is something to celebrate. Years ago, the cycle would have been to gain it all back and then some - and then finally face the reality of the problem.

This first week is tough, but not nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. I seem to be out of the sluggishness felt when a drastic reduction of carbohydrates and sugars takes place and my body seems to be adjusting.

I will continue to update as I visit the doctor and I look forward to being on the downward trend again!

This week, my starting weight was 348. I will be going back to the doctor on Thursday and I'm looking forward to seeing a lower number on the scale.