Boobs, pants and you can't touch this

Yeah, the title applies but you know you clicked this because the word "boobs" was in the title. Admit it, it's ok. Advertisers have known for, well, ever, that sex sells. LOL :) (I'm kidding, of course, kind of.)

For the last few months I've been slowly shrinking out of my clothing, obviously. However, I've had a few pieces that I wasn't ready to give up. For one, I hadn't replaced them and for two, I hadn't fully absorbed the fact that the damn clothes really were too big. I'm not sure why but for whatever reason, I was still thinking I needed to wear those size 32 dress slacks. Never mind the fact that my blue jeans are now a size 24. Never mind the fact that my shirts are also much smaller.

This morning I woke up and put on my black dress slacks. I went to work and as I walked I kept having to tug them back up. I was on a mission to drink a lot of water today which meant many trips to the restroom. Well the restroom at work as a full length mirror. My first trip I noticed my pants literally looked like clown pants. I looked frumpy and the HUGE pants did not reflect all the weight I've lost, at all. They were so large that they were gathering and as I stood looking at myself in the mirror I could see myself dancing like MC Hammer and singing, "You can't touch this. . .oohh, oohh, oohh, oohh, oohh, oohh, you can't touch this."

To only compound the issue, the bra I wore was also too large. While I was walking I not only was tugging my pants back up to my waist, but also trying to keep "the girls" under control, as they wanted to slip right out of their holder, and not in the pushed up, can kind of get away with having two mounds way. No, this was slipping under the bra and at one point I honestly thought they were going to fall completely through and my bra would consequently be pushed up around my neck. Bra necklace anyone?

By lunch time I had enough. I was sure I was going to have some sort of wardrobe malfunction that would be far worse than Janet Jackson's at the 2004 Super Bowl. I ran out at lunch to a local store to try to find a few items that would fit.

Now, anyone that has been morbidly obese knows that shopping for clothing is limited to three stores; Catherine's, Lane Bryant or The Avenue. All of which are overpriced. Often a shirt will cost $50. Same with a pair of pants - and these aren't designer or even great quality. They are often in prints that you hate but are forced to wear because that is what some person, likely very small, has determined fat people look good in. However, it's apparent that they have never seen said fat people in the bold, flower prints or horizontal stripes. Yet, when you are nearly 400lbs, you are just thankful you can walk into a store and buy something that will cover your body. Style is a second thought, and often not a choice.

Today, I decided to not go to any of the three aforementioned stores. Rather I went to another woman's clothing store that offered "normal" sizes but also had a plus sized area. Always before I left these types of stores discouraged and frustrated because even their largest sizes never worked for me.

I walked in and gathered a few stylish shirts that I really liked! OMG, shirts I actually LIKE!!! I also picked up a pair of size 24 jeans, not expecting them to fit. I'm not sure why I've lived in this state of denial that the size I've purchased the past few months weren't "true" sizes, but I've played this mental game with myself. I went into the fitting room and tried everything on. Every single thing fit!  I went back out on the floor, and decided to leave behind a few of the selections. Again, this is a new thing for me. Normally I'd have to just take the very few things that fit, no matter if I liked them or not.  I then decided to give this size thing the true test - black slacks. I picked up three different pair of black slacks, two that were 24's and one pair that was a size larger. I tried them on. The size larger was too big, the 24's fit perfectly. Yeah, I know you are saying, "well, duh." (Especially since Charlie Sheen has brought back the word, duh.)  This is the FIRST TIME EVER that I tried something on that was TOO BIG!!! EVER!!

This was a shopping experience that I have looked forward to for a very long time. It's taken some time for me to admit I really am this much smaller. The mind games that go along with weight loss are interesting (and sometimes not so amusing.)