Let your freak flag fly

How many times have you wanted to do something but said you can't because you have a weight issue, or you don't want to look silly, or people your age just don't do that, or a myriad of other reasons that prevent you from doing what you want?  How many times have people said, "You can't do that. . ."

For months I've wanted to do something and for months I've told myself to wait until I weigh less than I do now. Wait. Wait. Wait. Do you have any idea how many times in my life I've said, "I'll do that when I'm skinny."

I'm done waiting. I'm done allowing the reaction of others to dictate what I will and won't do.

So tonight I took a major step towards a goal. What is this outlandish goal I have?

GIRLS ROLLER DERBY!

Walking in the smells brought back memories from 20 years ago when I was a rink rat who anxiously waited for Friday and Saturday nights where I would spend hours on the rink - skating, jumping, sweating and loving every second of it. A year ago I never would have dreamed of having the guts to walk into a skating rink, rent skates (little own put them on) and stand up on them! This journey I'm on is one that is so much more than just weight loss. For so long I've been trapped in this prison of fat that I've neglected to remember that part of life is having fun! And you know what, skating is FUN!

Now, I have months of practice and training to get there, as apparent by tonight's experience walking into the skating rink and strapping those rental skates on my feet. I did rent the low ankle speed skates as they are better crap than the high top brown with orange wheel rentals - and they served their purpose.

I grabbed the skates, tossed my flip-flops, car keys, phone and purse into a locker and put a quarter in the slot to retrieve the little round orange key.  Anxiety grew as I went to sit down and put the skates on.  My heart was pounding!!!  I quickly stood up on the skates, did a pretty large hurky jerky motion and immediately remembered to relax my knees to prevent the fall. OMG, like second nature I remembered!!!  My legs quivered as I stood in the skates.

Now, don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I was able to immediately jump the step, push off, do cross-overs to gain speed around the rink and skate like I did when I was 14. This is all about setting realistic expectations right? I believe I wrote about that earlier in the week. . . Anyway, no, I actually didn't make it to the wood floor rink tonight. I stayed on the carpet, skated back and forth for the 20 minutes I had until the rink closed.

 While I didn't get on the rink and I didn't skate a single lap - I took the step and tonight, that's what it was all about. I can do this. I know I can. Soon, my legs will be strong again, I'll be skating around that rink with confidence and then. . .I can work towards my goal of DERBY!

I can't wait!

So this week, think of one thing you want to do that you keep telling yourself you can't. Think of one thing you've been putting off, saying you will do it when ____________________ and then, move that when up to NOW! You can do whatever you want. Nothing has to stop you.

Do it and then enjoy that feeling knowing that you stepped out of your comfort zone, let your freak flag fly and you HAD FUN!!!

I'm going back to the rink this weekend and I WILL get on that wood floor.