Thursday, January 27, 2011

This Train Don't Stop There Anymore - Unless a Canolli is Involved - Then Yeah, Maybe a Short Stop

Today was a rough day! We had a team building event, which was very nice of the company I work for, but it was NOT weight-loss friendly and pushed my willpower to the absolute max. Knowing that I was going in to face the fire today I started with some whole grain oatmeal (not the packets kind), a cup of blueberries and some light/fat free yogurt. It was a good breakfast, I was satisfied and was hoping it would help when temptation hit. I also drank 32oz of water before 11:30. Again, hoping for the magical "I don't care that there is cake in the room" vibes.

Our event started with lunch. I was able to make great choices, avoid the white pasta with Alfredo sauce and stuck with plenty of veggies, some chicken breast and a nice salad with my dressing on the side to just dip my fork in for a little taste. Win! I did it!

Then, the cake was passed around. Uggg! I avoided the situation entirely by just leaving the room while cake was enjoyed. Honestly, it was easier for me to just walk away than sit there with the constant nagging of "OMG that cake looks good."

What felt like only a few minutes after cake was finished, popcorn and movie candies were rolled out. Snow caps, Goobers, Rasinettes, Milk Duds -  you name it, it was there to be consumed! A movie started and for a while I was able to ignore the smell of fresh popped popcorn filling the room. Eventually though I did decide I would have a half a bag (they were the small, personal sized bags that hold about 2 cups of popcorn). I stuck to my guns and only had a half of bag - a cup. It was so fresh, so crisp, I really enjoyed it. I made sure to grab my phone, log in to my Weight Watchers etools and track the unexpected treat.

So far, sounds ok, right? Unfortunately, about 3pm is when I went down hill. I avoided and avoided the slow train of food that equated to my own personal torture. But, during an afternoon break I broke and had to have a canolli. Fortunately, it was yogurt filled rather than pudding/custard filled; however, it started something I wish hadn't happened. I didn't just consume one canolli, I had THREE!

Oh how I wish I had stuck with my original plan and taken in my bag of fruit and cheese to have as my afternoon snack. If I had done that, while I may still have had the one canolli, I don't think I would have let my guard down enough to cave to three of the delicious little tempt-lets!

To compound this cluster of an eating day, I didn't make it to the gym or get my walk in this evening. My plan for today was to get up early enough to walk my son to school, which is slightly over 2 miles round trip. But, naturally, I woke up too late to do that. So then my plan was to come home after class tonight, put on my workout clothes and go to the gym. Yeah, that didn't happen either. Then I said I'd just walk my treadmill, but no matter how much I thought about how much I NEEDED to do it, especially on a three canolli day, I just couldn't muster up the energy to do it. I immediately put on my nightgown.

The fact is I will always be tired while working full-time and going to school full-time; that shouldn't be an excuse to skip my walks. I need to re-commit to either getting up early and doing it, or doing it as soon as I get home from school in the evenings. This is my third week back in class since winter break and I need to get my routine down. Work Monday through Friday 9am-5pm, school Monday through Thursday 6pm-10pm. Mornings really are the option that makes the most sense.

Tomorrow, I'm committing to waking up and walking. I don't have school tomorrow night so I plan to try to double dip and get an additional walk in.

So, that was my day.

How do you handle events where you experience the slow train of torture otherwise known as food? Does anyone have any tips other than biting nails, chugging water and abstaining?


  1. Don't beat yourself up. It's not just a matter of avoiding the food while lusting after it. It's a slow changing of your perspective. It's taken me a LONG time to get to this point, and I'm still not always thinking the right way. The change happens when you start to view food as fuel for your body, and not as something that's forbidden. Look at food as delicious when it's healthy. Undesirable when it's processed and laden with things that aren't healthy for you. I'm still working on it. It's a hard change to make, brain-wise. I look to Bitch Cakes for inspiration in this department. Or, any number of vegan or health foodie bloggers, such as Noshtopia. These blogs make healthy food soooo appealing that I want nothing to do with the processed things I see.

    The changes you're making are good ones. Just keep going and treat each day as a new one! Eat higher amounts of protein to help stave off hunger, and bringing your own treats is a must! A handful of nuts would have really helped make you feel satisfied. <3

    Best of luck!! xoxoxox


  2. Jennifer,
    Thanks so much and yes, you are correct, it's about completely changing one's perspective on food. I'm evolving and most of the time, my mind is in the right place. I will have days that are great and days that are not so great as I re-learn how to eat.

    On a positive note, before I started this plan I would have consumed the pasta and sauce, the chicken, the cake, the candies, the popcorn, the canollis and would have never given it another thought. So perhaps my learning experience from this IS that I made some good choices, I ate far less than the old me would have and accept that as progress.

    I'll check out the other bloggers you mentioned.

    Thanks again!

  3. You made some great choices and your honesty is key to your growth and change. Do not hammer yourself for what is already done.It is great that you are aware of your progress and willing to learn from each day.

    Alone I am weak, no matter how strong and powerful my ego likes to make me think I am. Food addiction is always stronger than one person. When I get out of myself and share with another the disease loses some of its stranglehold on me. I have to reach out and not depend on my false pride of fighting it off alone.

    I make a phone call or send an email to another person(s) who share my of addiction. I tell someone else what I am experiencing. I do not call for advice or reprimand: I am sharing what I feel and in doing so the desire is often lifted - one cannoli at a time.

    I can never stop at one - even if I was full to busting. If I had one I would be back for the others. I've experimented enough. I do not need to try it one more time but when I get that thought in my head that maybe this time. . . . . I reach out for help.

    When I am tempted by food I jot down a few thoughts in my journal. I often use the journal first, then if I am still unable to stay away from the food I pray and usually the answer I get from prayer is to make a call.

    That is the only thing that works for me day after day and pound after pound.


  4. When I was first getting started, I had a serious problem with binge eating - and I would still say that I am an addict, though I have learned some ways to control my cravings. At first, I had to abstain - I absolutely could not have "just one" or "only a little" of something. Some big triggers for me were cheese and peanut butter (not at the same time, haha). I just could not keep them in the house because I knew I wouldn't be able to control myself. I did a lot of reading about bingeing, compulsive overeating, and food addiction, and something that really helped me was the book "Eating Mindfully" by Susan Albers.

    After a while, I tried reintroducing some of these difficult foods into my life - if I eat cheese, I buy a single string cheese at a time, or 1-2 slices from the deli if I am making a sandwich. PB I buy in single-serve cups and keep them in my desk at work for enjoying with my afternoon snack. I don't know if I could handle buying a jar of PB or a block of cheese yet, but at this point, I'm not willing to test it out. Allowing myself a little amount of what I crave now and then helps me not crave these things so intensely that I snap and binge.

    Best of luck - I look forward to reading more about your journey! Congrats on your 50 lb. loss!!!