I refuse to live my life in reverse

Have you ever had to drive a car in reverse for anything more than backing out of a parking space? 

Years ago I was on an ice and snow covered hill. My car was a rear wheel drive and just as I reached the top of the hill, my momentum had slowed to the point that it just couldn't make it over the hump. I ended up having to throw the car in reverse and back up all the way down the hill. It was difficult to keep it under control in reverse on ice. The car wanted to weave. It was difficult to see the bottom of the hill clearly. After a few attempts with the same result, I had to leave the car at the bottom of the hill and walk it. The climb was difficult but it was far less frightening than driving in reverse down the hill and I eventually made it home.

The last two weeks (give or take a few days) I've been stuck in reverse. I haven't tracked my food. I haven't worked out as planned. I've made poor choice after poor choice. Really, this is how I used to live my life, everyday.

I REFUSE TO LIVE MY LIFE IN REVERSE!!

So, here I go again, same words, different moment - I'm getting back on plan. I'm not sure what caused me to fall down this time. Spring break was last week and I had more time in the evenings. The week prior I had made a goal to visit the gym everyday since I would have more time - but somehow I just consumed the time with other things and never made it to the gym. The free time also allowed for more lax eating habits. It was like I was on vacation BUT I WASN'T ON VACATION!

I have no real excuse or reason as to why, other than, I consciously decided to make poor choices. There is no candy coating it. I did it, I own it and part of that ownership is saying, "STOP IT!"

What is done, is done. Tomorrow morning, it's back to my meetings, back to the scale. I'm facing the music -  facing the gain that will surely show - and moving on!

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If you are on this same journey, know these types of blunders will happen. The important part is snapping out of it before it's too late!  If you have already reached your goal, please share some of the times you fell off the wagon. I know it happens to us all as we strive to make these changes in our lives but it surely helps to hear how others fell down and got right back up again!

Boobs, pants and you can't touch this

Yeah, the title applies but you know you clicked this because the word "boobs" was in the title. Admit it, it's ok. Advertisers have known for, well, ever, that sex sells. LOL :) (I'm kidding, of course, kind of.)

For the last few months I've been slowly shrinking out of my clothing, obviously. However, I've had a few pieces that I wasn't ready to give up. For one, I hadn't replaced them and for two, I hadn't fully absorbed the fact that the damn clothes really were too big. I'm not sure why but for whatever reason, I was still thinking I needed to wear those size 32 dress slacks. Never mind the fact that my blue jeans are now a size 24. Never mind the fact that my shirts are also much smaller.

This morning I woke up and put on my black dress slacks. I went to work and as I walked I kept having to tug them back up. I was on a mission to drink a lot of water today which meant many trips to the restroom. Well the restroom at work as a full length mirror. My first trip I noticed my pants literally looked like clown pants. I looked frumpy and the HUGE pants did not reflect all the weight I've lost, at all. They were so large that they were gathering and as I stood looking at myself in the mirror I could see myself dancing like MC Hammer and singing, "You can't touch this. . .oohh, oohh, oohh, oohh, oohh, oohh, you can't touch this."

To only compound the issue, the bra I wore was also too large. While I was walking I not only was tugging my pants back up to my waist, but also trying to keep "the girls" under control, as they wanted to slip right out of their holder, and not in the pushed up, can kind of get away with having two mounds way. No, this was slipping under the bra and at one point I honestly thought they were going to fall completely through and my bra would consequently be pushed up around my neck. Bra necklace anyone?

By lunch time I had enough. I was sure I was going to have some sort of wardrobe malfunction that would be far worse than Janet Jackson's at the 2004 Super Bowl. I ran out at lunch to a local store to try to find a few items that would fit.

Now, anyone that has been morbidly obese knows that shopping for clothing is limited to three stores; Catherine's, Lane Bryant or The Avenue. All of which are overpriced. Often a shirt will cost $50. Same with a pair of pants - and these aren't designer or even great quality. They are often in prints that you hate but are forced to wear because that is what some person, likely very small, has determined fat people look good in. However, it's apparent that they have never seen said fat people in the bold, flower prints or horizontal stripes. Yet, when you are nearly 400lbs, you are just thankful you can walk into a store and buy something that will cover your body. Style is a second thought, and often not a choice.

Today, I decided to not go to any of the three aforementioned stores. Rather I went to another woman's clothing store that offered "normal" sizes but also had a plus sized area. Always before I left these types of stores discouraged and frustrated because even their largest sizes never worked for me.

I walked in and gathered a few stylish shirts that I really liked! OMG, shirts I actually LIKE!!! I also picked up a pair of size 24 jeans, not expecting them to fit. I'm not sure why I've lived in this state of denial that the size I've purchased the past few months weren't "true" sizes, but I've played this mental game with myself. I went into the fitting room and tried everything on. Every single thing fit!  I went back out on the floor, and decided to leave behind a few of the selections. Again, this is a new thing for me. Normally I'd have to just take the very few things that fit, no matter if I liked them or not.  I then decided to give this size thing the true test - black slacks. I picked up three different pair of black slacks, two that were 24's and one pair that was a size larger. I tried them on. The size larger was too big, the 24's fit perfectly. Yeah, I know you are saying, "well, duh." (Especially since Charlie Sheen has brought back the word, duh.)  This is the FIRST TIME EVER that I tried something on that was TOO BIG!!! EVER!!

This was a shopping experience that I have looked forward to for a very long time. It's taken some time for me to admit I really am this much smaller. The mind games that go along with weight loss are interesting (and sometimes not so amusing.)

It's going to be a "berry" good week

This week one of my "new" foods is the addition of fresh raspberries and blackberries. I normally buy blueberries and strawberries. But, I decided I wanted a whole mix of berries so purchased them (even though it was quite the splurge based on the price they were.)

I'm happy to say the extra spend was well worth it and my children have a new found love for berries.

I also decided to try another recipe from the Weight Watchers Just 5 Cookbook for a very late brunch.It wouldn't have been so late but I forgot to thaw the phyllo dough, so had to wait for it. I was fearful that this one would be more complicated but decided I'd tackle it anyway.  (For as many kudos as I'm giving this cookbook, let me just say I am in no way being paid or affiliated with Weight Watchers. I'm just a member and a huge fan of these recipes.) 

I've never worked with phyllo before and was a bit worried it would be difficult or I would somehow mess it up, but I'm happy to report it behaved and I was able to create nearly a picture perfect strudel!

The ingredients were simple:
eggs
broccoli
olive oil
phyllo dough
jarisberg cheese (now a new favorite!)

I did end up putting sugar on the kids' berries and I put splenda on mine. We found them to be just a wee too tart for our tastes. Perhaps as time goes on, we can eat them right out of the package but for now, a little sweet is better than no berries at all - so we compromised.

The result of my efforts was a beautiful brunch with my family around the table on a Sunday afternoon. I even brought out the "special" coffee so the hubby and I could sip on Starbucks Sumatra while enjoying the meal.

Week 43 - Weigh In

I had a great week. The scale is moving in the right direction again. The theme of last weeks meeting was "Shake It Up" and I took that challenge seriously. I ventured into cooking some new recipes with foods I had never had before. I also started weight training. I believe those two changes made a difference and are what pushed the two pound weight loss.

I'm going to continue on my "try new things" venture. I have some new recipes to try and this week I have some pretty hefty fitness goals. They start today.  I'm hoping the extra activity will really push the numbers on the scale, as it is my hope to get in the teens by next week. I think I can do it!! Changing it up like this keeps me from getting so bored.

My fitness schedule for this week is:
Sunday (today) - 1 Hour Treadmill
Monday - 20 minutes ARC Trainer
Tuesday - Upper Body Weight Training
Wednesday - Personal Trainer Appointment
Thursday - Lower Body Weight Training
Friday - 20 minutes ARC Trainer
Saturday - 1 Hour Treadmill

It's spring break from school and I really want to push myself in the gym. So, here's to another great week!

Do you have anything new or different planned? Do you have an challenges or goals you are placing in this week?  I would love to hear them!

Whole Wheat vs. White - What's the big deal?

The difference between whole wheat bread and white bread is a lot more than color!

There are a lot of buzz words surrounding carbs right now, since many of the fad diets have made carbs the fall guys for obesity. Of course, many of the fad diets have it VERY wrong, which is why they are fads. Unfortunately, during the craze there is a lot of misinformation that goes around and sticks.

So, let me start by saying CARBS ARE GOOD! They are an important part of a balanced diet. They provide our bodies with the fuel it needs to go to work, think, type, exercise, drive a car, you get the idea. Carbs are our energy source. The problem lies when we take in more carbs than we are going to burn or store in our liver (as glycogen). Our bodies, the hoarders that they are, convert those carbs over to fat (as with any other macromolecules that we eat in excess and don't use), saving them for a rainy day. Fortunately, because we don't have mass starvation and hopefully no major illnesses, that rainy day never comes, we continue to consume more energy than we spend and it results in a lot of stored up energy - fat.

Oh yeah, I have enough energy packed on this body that I could power a small city for a few years.

Ok, joking aside. Why are carbs not created equal? To explain this we are going to have to dip our toe into biochemistry. Just a toe, as I don't think I could fully swim in the subject, but I can share what I've learned over the last two years in my higher level science courses.

Monosaccharides (Simple Carbs)

Monosaccharide

When our body breaks down our foods into the nutrients it uses to fuel our bodies it uses energy. Yes, just eating will cause you to burn calories to process the food. Some foods require more energy to break them down than others. That energy is spent, primarily, by breaking bonds of elements that are joined together to form the molecule (or chains of moledules). Carbohydrates have a basic molecular formula of C6H12O6 for one molecule. When you have a monosaccharide (a simple carb) it takes your body less energy to digest as there are less bonds to break.  When I look at white bread now, I think about the processing it has already gone through. That processing used energy that my body otherwise would have spent, to make it refined.


Disaccharides and Polysaccharides (Complex Carbs)

Polysaccharide

Complex carbohydrates are multiple glucose molecules, joined together (polysaccharide is a string of three or more), so they have more bonds for our bodies to break. This is why they maintain a more consistent level of glucose in our bloodstreams, as our bodies spend a longer time breaking them down, releasing the glucose steadily rather than in one quick burst.

In addition to that, fiber is present, giving the complex carbohydrate more bang for it's buck. Our bodies cannot digest fiber, however, it does great things while moving around within us! First and foremost, it fills our bellies longer due to the fact that it can't be broken down. It sits there, churning, keeping us more satisfied as our other foods are digested and broken down. Additionally, fiber molecules eventually hit our bloodstream where they act as little cleaners, scrubbing buildups of cholesterol and other fats off the lining of our arteries. But, their work isn't done in those little tubes, they continue to clean as they recycle back into the GI tract where they scrub and clean our intestines and colon.

So, when I'm shopping I now look for the products that will allow my body to do the work, rather than allowing machines in the food processing plant to do them for me. I'm going to eat anyway, I might as well make my body work harder in the process, get some cleaning action from it!

The key is moderation and making sure your carb has its good buddy protein, as the two work well together.